They need to take seven and they might take yours. That probably would’ve sounded more commanding if I wasn’t wearing my yummy sushi pajamas.
What, you think this isn’t real just because of all the vampires, and demons, and ex-vengeance demons, and the sister that used to be a big ball of universe-destroying energy? She alone will stand against the vampires the demons and the forces of darkness.
Start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a ninety-pound girl, ’cause I don’t think that’s ever getting old. No, a bad day is when someone’s yellin’ spooks the cattle. Like, is the hippo going,’Hey, man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity!’ You remember, you fail math, you flunk out of school, you end up being the guy at the pizza place that sweeps the floor and says, ‘Hey, kids, where’s the cool parties this weekend?’ I knew you were lying. Undead liar guy. I would appreciate it if one person on this boat would not assume I’m an evil, lecherous hump. Shh! No programs, don’t use that word. Just be Buffy. Woman, you are completely off your nut. With any luck, he’ll poke the wrong one and end up in an alternative dimension inhabited by a fifty-foot Giles that squishes annoying teeny pirates. From now on, we’re gonna have a little less ritual, and a little more fun around here!
Oh my god, I find lentils completely incomprehensible. In their resting state, our actives are as innocent and vulnerable as children. I saw their production of ‘Giselle’ in 1890. I wept like a baby, and I was evil! Basically, this is what some of your more famous serial killers’ brains look like. How did your brain even learn human speech? I’m just so curious. You’re gonna die screaming but you won’t be heard.
Anyone in this much pain prays, or at least curses. In every generation there is a chosen one. I like to think of myself more as a ‘guest-age’. I’m the one who brings about the thought-pocalypse.
And that’d be where you find stored such things as empathy, compassion, an aversion to disemboweling puppies. I’m not planning on presiding over the end of Western Civilization. You’ll fight, and you’ll shag, and you’ll hate each other ’til it makes you quiver, but you’ll never be friends.
How about ’cause you’re a tiny impotent Nazi with a bug up his butt the size of an emu? I’m a comfortador also.
You remember, you fail math, you flunk out of school, you end up being the guy at the pizza place that sweeps the floor and says, ‘Hey, kids, where’s the cool parties this weekend?’ We will rule over all this land, and we will call it…This Land. You can’t open the book of my life and jump in the middle. I’m a comfortador also.
I dislike that Anya. She’s newly human and strangely literal. It’s getting eerie, what’s this cheery singing all about? My Uncle Rory was the stodgiest taxidermist you’ve ever met by day. Either blow us all up or rub soup in our hair. It’s a toss-up. What do they need such good eyesight for anyway? Battle wounds are nothing new to me, preacher. Buffy’s boinking Spike. Stay away from hyena people, or any loser athletes, or if you see anyone who’s invisible.
I suppose there is a sort of Machiavellian ingenuity to your transgression. From now on, we’re gonna have a little less ritual, and a little more fun around here! You’re the one freaky thing in my freaky world that still makes sense to me. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it…This Land. Well we could grind our enemies into talcum powder with a sledgehammer but, gosh, we did that last night. If the apocalypse comes…beep me! Either blow us all up or rub soup in our hair. It’s a toss-up. I saw their production of ‘Giselle’ in 1890. I wept like a baby, and I was evil! You can’t open the book of my life and jump in the middle. Let me pour you a big frosty mug of ‘shut-the-hell-up.’