Winning over your enemy, the one person guaranteed to reject everything you are, that’s real love. She is the slayer. This may come as a shock, but I’m actually not very good at talking to girls. Every single person down there is ignoring your pain because they’re too busy with their own. Little man loved fire. No, a bad day is when someone’s yellin’ spooks the cattle. I’ll kill a man in a fair fight. Or if I think he’s gonna start a fair fight. Or if he bothers me. Or if there’s a woman. Or if I’m getting paid. Mostly when I’m getting paid. From now on, we’re gonna have a little less ritual, and a little more fun around here!
You’re lesbians, so the hating of men will come in handy. They need to take seven and they might take yours. I’m a comfortador also. The gentlemen are coming by. If you say ‘adorabubble,’ I’m leaving. From beneath you, it devours. You will keep a civil tongue in this house or we’ll put your tongue in a stew. Planet’s coming up a mite fast. You’re gonna die screaming but you won’t be heard. Better to cut you down to size, grandma.
What gives you the right to suck face with your demon lover again? She’s a truck-driving magic mama! See if you were really a witch, you’d do a spell to escape. Everybody started singing and dancing. Yes, I’d forgotten you’re moonlighting as a criminal mastermind now. Like, is the hippo going,’Hey, man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity!’ Easy as really difficult pie.
Woman, you are completely off your nut. Anya! How is your money? Just once I would like to run into a cult of bunny worshippers.
Bunnies aren’t just cute like everybody supposes. Planet’s coming up a mite fast. Spike follows the exciting smell of blood and we follow the fairly ripe smell of Spike.
Military people don’t make out with science people. I mean, officially I deplore violence, but that was totally worth the loss of karma points! You sanguine about the kind of reception we’re apt to receive on an Alliance ship, Cap’n? So we’ll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God’s creation of Eden.
I figure, if I’m responsible for the end of the world, I get to name it. I am obsolete. This must be what old people feel like, and Blockbuster. You’re gonna die screaming but you won’t be heard. We’re outlaws with hearts of gold. Any self-respecting demon should be living in a pit of filth or a nice crypt. My egg is Jewish.
Either blow us all up or rub soup in our hair. It’s a toss-up. Well, you were busy trying to get yourself lit on fire. The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems. Special isn’t always a good thing here, Boyd. So we’ll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God’s creation of Eden. Better to cut you down to size, grandma. I told him that I loved him, I kissed him, and I killed him.
Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Basically, this is what some of your more famous serial killers’ brains look like. Special isn’t always a good thing here, Boyd. You’ll prove I can trust you when the day comes that you have to kill me. And you do. The brain is kept in a fear-induced, adrenaline-fueled overdrive state, like a problem you can’t solve. And now the one person who should be here is gone, and a waste like you gets to live. I gave birth to a pterodactyl. Battle wounds are nothing new to me, preacher. It’s my estimation that every man ever got a statue made of him was one kind of sommbitch or another.
Turns out I suddenly find myself needing to know the plural of apocalypse. The brain is kept in a fear-induced, adrenaline-fueled overdrive state, like a problem you can’t solve. Why can’t you just masturbate like the rest of us? I, Anya, promise to love you, to cherish you, to honor you, but not to obey you, of course, because that’s anachronistic and misogynistic and who do you think you are, like a sea captain or something?
Month: April 2016
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The only thing Willow was ever good for, the only thing I ever had going for me were those moments, just moments, where Tara would look at me and I was wonderful. I’m not planning on presiding over the end of Western Civilization. I’ve got four brothers, none of them Democrats.
Like, is the hippo going,’Hey, man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity!’ We attack the mayor with hummus. We will bring you the limp and beaten body of Bob Barker!
She is the slayer. Darn your sinister attraction! You always hurt the one you love.
Anya! How is your money? Wash, we’ve got some local color happening. You can’t spend the rest of your life waiting for Xander to wake up and smell the hottie. They’re a little bit bison. I don’t think Buffy’s going to be too broken up over a pylon. The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems. Magic’s all balderdash and chicanery. With any luck, he’ll poke the wrong one and end up in an alternative dimension inhabited by a fifty-foot Giles that squishes annoying teeny pirates. Anything for you, because I love you. Deep, deep man love.
We’re gonna explode? I don’t wanna explode. Easy as really difficult pie. You can’t spend the rest of your life waiting for Xander to wake up and smell the hottie. Magic’s all balderdash and chicanery. Occasionally, I’m callous and strange. You were a worthless being before you were ever a monster. You’re gonna die screaming but you won’t be heard. Imagine Bonnie and Clyde if they had 150 years to get it right. The brain is kept in a fear-induced, adrenaline-fueled overdrive state, like a problem you can’t solve. Well, I haven’t been to a hell dimension just of late, but I do know a thing or two about torment.
Any self-respecting demon should be living in a pit of filth or a nice crypt. If I was blind, I would see you. Risk the pain, it is your nature. Yes, I’d forgotten you’re moonlighting as a criminal mastermind now. You can’t spend the rest of your life waiting for Xander to wake up and smell the hottie. We’re pimps and killers, but in a philanthropic way. Who’s calling me? Everybody I know lives here. It was supposed to confuse him, but it just made him peppy.
The lambs have passed through the gate. Well, you were busy trying to get yourself lit on fire. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you. Magic’s all balderdash and chicanery. It’s like somebody slaughtered an Abercrombie and Fitch catalog. No, Angel, it’s not you. Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet.
I dislike that Anya. She’s newly human and strangely literal. Don’t strain your brain trying, then. Might break something. You were a worthless being before you were ever a monster.
Well, look at me. I’m all fuzzy. Like, is the hippo going,’Hey, man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity!’ I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. So, she’s added cussing and hurling about of things to her repertoire. Frankly, it’s ludicrous to have these interlocking bodies and not…interlock. I swallowed a bug. Don’t be ridiculous. Martha Stewart isn’t a demon. She’s a witch. It’s just a long cultural tradition of raging insincerity. Imagine Bonnie and Clyde if they had 150 years to get it right. You’re gonna die screaming but you won’t be heard.
And you know the monkey’s just,’I mock you with my monkey pants!’ When I say, ‘I love you,’ it’s not because I want you or because I can’t have you. So, are we gonna sing army songs or something? Say! look at you! You look just like me! We’re very pretty. Don’t be ridiculous. Martha Stewart isn’t a demon. She’s a witch. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.
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And zombies don’t eat brains anyway, unless instructed to by their zombie master. So, I’m wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sorta ripped? Like, is the hippo going,’Hey, man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity!’
And what’s with all the carrots? You’re really campaigning for bitch-of-the-year, aren’t you? I, Anya, promise to love you, to cherish you, to honor you, but not to obey you, of course, because that’s anachronistic and misogynistic and who do you think you are, like a sea captain or something? It was supposed to confuse him, but it just made him peppy. See, morbid and creepifying, I got no problem with, long as she does it quiet-like. Anya! How is your money?
Oh Spike, devour me! She is the slayer. It’s just a long cultural tradition of raging insincerity. Wash, we’ve got some local color happening. Uh, hey, I got a idea. Instead of us hanging around playing art critic ’til I get pinched by the man, how’s about we move away from this eerie-ass piece of work, and get on with our increasingly eerie-ass day. How’s that? A vampire in love with a Slayer. It’s rather poetic, in a maudlin sort of way. Yes, I’d forgotten you’re moonlighting as a criminal mastermind now. I swallowed a bug.
Okay, at this point you’re abusing sarcasm. How did you find me here? Yeah, it was sexy the way she touched me real hard with her fists. What gives you the right to suck face with your demon lover again? I find it a bit sad that you think of yourself as a candidate for anyone’s fantasy. Stay with me. Forever. That’s the whole point. Winning over your enemy, the one person guaranteed to reject everything you are, that’s real love. Your futures are murky; you’d do well to heed my…I’m still on speakerphone, aren’t I? And now the one person who should be here is gone, and a waste like you gets to live.
Y’all see the man hanging out of the spaceship with the really big gun? You can’t take the sky from me.
And what’s with all the carrots? Ain’t it crazy how slaying just always makes you hungry and horny? My egg is Jewish. Sweetie, if he had a tussle with that Sasquatch, we’d be in the dirt right about now, scooping up the Captain’s teeth. If you say ‘adorabubble,’ I’m leaving.
Big damn heroes, sir. Instead you go all Dumbledore on me. You’re the one freaky thing in my freaky world that still makes sense to me. It has nothing to do with me. We’re gonna explode? I don’t wanna explode. Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose? The lambs have passed through the gate. The living legend needs eggs! Like, is the hippo going,’Hey, man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity!’ Can’t even shout, can’t even cry.
The only time you were ever at peace in your whole life was when you were dead. Barmaid, bring me stronger ale, and some plump, succulent babies to eat. I’m the one who brings about the thought-pocalypse. It was the pioneer days; people had to make their own interrogation rooms. Out of cornmeal. Freedom is life’s great lie. It’s getting eerie, what’s this cheery singing all about? You will keep a civil tongue in this house or we’ll put your tongue in a stew. Well, you were busy trying to get yourself lit on fire. What, you think this isn’t real just because of all the vampires, and demons, and ex-vengeance demons, and the sister that used to be a big ball of universe-destroying energy? Anyone in this much pain prays, or at least curses.
Stay away from hyena people, or any loser athletes, or if you see anyone who’s invisible. Ain’t it crazy how slaying just always makes you hungry and horny? It’s about power and it’s about women and you just hate those two words in the same sentence, don’t you? From beneath you, it devours. You will keep a civil tongue in this house or we’ll put your tongue in a stew. I like to think of myself more as a ‘guest-age’.
Buffy’s boinking Spike. Men, with your sales. We’re gonna explode? I don’t wanna explode. Don’t care much for fancy parties. Too rough. How did you find me here? It eats you, starting with your bottom. We attack the mayor with hummus. They are come to the killing floor. They need to take seven and they might take yours. Or even worse, a sneezure.
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Anyone in this much pain prays, or at least curses.
Darn your sinister attraction! Somebody put her tiny little thinking cap on! Can’t call to mom, can’t say a word. Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings; shindig, dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage; and hootenanny, well, it’s chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny. Stay away from hyena people, or any loser athletes, or if you see anyone who’s invisible. But I haven’t spent any money! I was all… dead and frugal. Well, excuse me, Mr. I-spent-the-sixties-in-an-electric-Kool-Aid-funky-Satan-groove! I knew you were lying. Undead liar guy.
Looking in windows, knocking on doors. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I’ll never leave. Not even if you kill me. See if you were really a witch, you’d do a spell to escape.
Scenario: We raise Buffy from the grave. She tries to eat our brains. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. Military people don’t make out with science people. Remember when you could just throw a girl in a volcano?
Well, you were busy trying to get yourself lit on fire. In their resting state, our actives are as innocent and vulnerable as children. The lambs have passed through the gate. It’s a real burn, being right so often. I’ve got four brothers, none of them Democrats. You’re the one freaky thing in my freaky world that still makes sense to me. The only way some people can find a purpose in life is by becoming obsessed with demons. A whole mess of sparrows turning on a dime, salmon trucking upstream. The only time you were ever at peace in your whole life was when you were dead. You’ll fight, and you’ll shag, and you’ll hate each other ’til it makes you quiver, but you’ll never be friends.
I mean, officially I deplore violence, but that was totally worth the loss of karma points! We live in a space ship, dear.
Everyone’s a hero in their own way, in their own not that heroic way. Last month he’s the freak with jicama breath who waxes his back. The human mind is like Van Halen; if you just pull out one piece and keep replacing it, it just degenerates. Anyway, he seemed to be having a kind of man-reaction. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it…This Land. No, a bad day is when someone’s yellin’ spooks the cattle. Now you can luxuriate in a nice jail cell, but if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet: I will end you.
Well, I’m sure I’m in serious need of some moral spankitude, but guess who’s not qualified to be my Rabbi? So we’ll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God’s creation of Eden. Stay away from hyena people, or any loser athletes, or if you see anyone who’s invisible. We’ve got a bunch of fighters with nothing to hit, a wicca who won’t-a, and the brains of our operation wears oven mitts. Freedom is life’s great lie.
What, you think this isn’t real just because of all the vampires, and demons, and ex-vengeance demons, and the sister that used to be a big ball of universe-destroying energy? It’s about power and it’s about women and you just hate those two words in the same sentence, don’t you? No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. Uh, hey, I got a idea. Instead of us hanging around playing art critic ’til I get pinched by the man, how’s about we move away from this eerie-ass piece of work, and get on with our increasingly eerie-ass day. How’s that? Looking in windows, knocking on doors. You are talking crazy-person talk. Put your words in word places please.
Welcome to the nancy tribe. If every vampire who said he was at the crucifixion actually was there, it would’ve been like Woodstock. No, a bad day is when someone’s yellin’ spooks the cattle. I brought you some supper but if you’d prefer a lecture, I’ve a few very catchy ones prepped: sin and hellfire, one has lepers. Now you can luxuriate in a nice jail cell, but if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet: I will end you.
I wanna hurt you, but I can’t resist the sinister attraction of your cold and muscular body! Don’t care much for fancy parties. Too rough. Just once I would like to run into a cult of bunny worshippers. Now I’m just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth. I told him that I loved him, I kissed him, and I killed him.