Pay attention – it could just get you a second date. That’s according to new Australian research investigating how mindfulness and visual attractiveness influence male and female choices during a speed-dating experiment. In the study, men were (somewhat unsurprisingly) more concerned with looks while, instead, women were drawn to men showing traits of “high dispositional mindfulness”. In other words, someone who’s aware and attentive to what they are thinking and feeling in the moment.
“Mindfulness is being the master of your emotions,” explains mindfulness teacher and author Suryacitta Malcolm Smith (mindfulnesscic.co.uk). “If you have high mindfulness, you’re more present and alive in the moment, you listen and empathise better and are more self-assured.” So pay attention to yourself before the big night – using the beginner’s tips above – and you’ll pay better attention to your date, which should bring its own rewards.
Mindfulness for beginners
FEEL YOURSELF BREATHING
“Get to a meeting early and sit quietly for five minutes,” says Suryacitta. “Feel your contact with the chair. Observe your breath into your body as your chest rises and falls. Think only of your breathing and feel present in the moment.”
TUNE IN TO YOUR TRAINING
“Build mindful muscle,” says Suryacitta. “When exercising, start without music and listen to your body instead. If running, be aware of the movement of your hips. If lifting weights, feel every muscle involved in the movement.”
LISTEN TO YOUR EMOTIONS
“Use the power of pauses,” says Suryacitta. “A few times a day, stop and allow your emotions to flow. Learn to know your feelings. After a minute, switch to focus on your breath for another 60 seconds. Then get on with your day.”