And zombies don’t eat brains anyway, unless instructed to by their zombie master. So, I’m wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sorta ripped? Like, is the hippo going,’Hey, man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity!’
And what’s with all the carrots? You’re really campaigning for bitch-of-the-year, aren’t you? I, Anya, promise to love you, to cherish you, to honor you, but not to obey you, of course, because that’s anachronistic and misogynistic and who do you think you are, like a sea captain or something? It was supposed to confuse him, but it just made him peppy. See, morbid and creepifying, I got no problem with, long as she does it quiet-like. Anya! How is your money?
Oh Spike, devour me! She is the slayer. It’s just a long cultural tradition of raging insincerity. Wash, we’ve got some local color happening. Uh, hey, I got a idea. Instead of us hanging around playing art critic ’til I get pinched by the man, how’s about we move away from this eerie-ass piece of work, and get on with our increasingly eerie-ass day. How’s that? A vampire in love with a Slayer. It’s rather poetic, in a maudlin sort of way. Yes, I’d forgotten you’re moonlighting as a criminal mastermind now. I swallowed a bug.
Okay, at this point you’re abusing sarcasm. How did you find me here? Yeah, it was sexy the way she touched me real hard with her fists. What gives you the right to suck face with your demon lover again? I find it a bit sad that you think of yourself as a candidate for anyone’s fantasy. Stay with me. Forever. That’s the whole point. Winning over your enemy, the one person guaranteed to reject everything you are, that’s real love. Your futures are murky; you’d do well to heed my…I’m still on speakerphone, aren’t I? And now the one person who should be here is gone, and a waste like you gets to live.
Y’all see the man hanging out of the spaceship with the really big gun? You can’t take the sky from me.
And what’s with all the carrots? Ain’t it crazy how slaying just always makes you hungry and horny? My egg is Jewish. Sweetie, if he had a tussle with that Sasquatch, we’d be in the dirt right about now, scooping up the Captain’s teeth. If you say ‘adorabubble,’ I’m leaving.
Big damn heroes, sir. Instead you go all Dumbledore on me. You’re the one freaky thing in my freaky world that still makes sense to me. It has nothing to do with me. We’re gonna explode? I don’t wanna explode. Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose? The lambs have passed through the gate. The living legend needs eggs! Like, is the hippo going,’Hey, man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity!’ Can’t even shout, can’t even cry.
The only time you were ever at peace in your whole life was when you were dead. Barmaid, bring me stronger ale, and some plump, succulent babies to eat. I’m the one who brings about the thought-pocalypse. It was the pioneer days; people had to make their own interrogation rooms. Out of cornmeal. Freedom is life’s great lie. It’s getting eerie, what’s this cheery singing all about? You will keep a civil tongue in this house or we’ll put your tongue in a stew. Well, you were busy trying to get yourself lit on fire. What, you think this isn’t real just because of all the vampires, and demons, and ex-vengeance demons, and the sister that used to be a big ball of universe-destroying energy? Anyone in this much pain prays, or at least curses.
Stay away from hyena people, or any loser athletes, or if you see anyone who’s invisible. Ain’t it crazy how slaying just always makes you hungry and horny? It’s about power and it’s about women and you just hate those two words in the same sentence, don’t you? From beneath you, it devours. You will keep a civil tongue in this house or we’ll put your tongue in a stew. I like to think of myself more as a ‘guest-age’.
Buffy’s boinking Spike. Men, with your sales. We’re gonna explode? I don’t wanna explode. Don’t care much for fancy parties. Too rough. How did you find me here? It eats you, starting with your bottom. We attack the mayor with hummus. They are come to the killing floor. They need to take seven and they might take yours. Or even worse, a sneezure.