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And zombies don’t eat brains anyway, unless instructed to by their zombie master. So, I’m wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sorta ripped? Like, is the hippo going,’Hey, man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity!’
And what’s with all the carrots? You’re really campaigning for bitch-of-the-year, aren’t you? I, Anya, promise to love you, to cherish you, to honor you, but not to obey you, of course, because that’s anachronistic and misogynistic and who do you think you are, like a sea captain or something? It was supposed to confuse him, but it just made him peppy. See, morbid and creepifying, I got no problem with, long as she does it quiet-like. Anya! How is your money?
Oh Spike, devour me! She is the slayer. It’s just a long cultural tradition of raging insincerity. Wash, we’ve got some local color happening. Uh, hey, I got a idea. Instead of us hanging around playing art critic ’til I get pinched by the man, how’s about we move away from this eerie-ass piece of work, and get on with our increasingly eerie-ass day. How’s that? A vampire in love with a Slayer. It’s rather poetic, in a maudlin sort of way. Yes, I’d forgotten you’re moonlighting as a criminal mastermind now. I swallowed a bug.
Okay, at this point you’re abusing sarcasm. How did you find me here? Yeah, it was sexy the way she touched me real hard with her fists. What gives you the right to suck face with your demon lover again? I find it a bit sad that you think of yourself as a candidate for anyone’s fantasy. Stay with me. Forever. That’s the whole point. Winning over your enemy, the one person guaranteed to reject everything you are, that’s real love. Your futures are murky; you’d do well to heed my…I’m still on speakerphone, aren’t I? And now the one person who should be here is gone, and a waste like you gets to live.
Y’all see the man hanging out of the spaceship with the really big gun? You can’t take the sky from me.
And what’s with all the carrots? Ain’t it crazy how slaying just always makes you hungry and horny? My egg is Jewish. Sweetie, if he had a tussle with that Sasquatch, we’d be in the dirt right about now, scooping up the Captain’s teeth. If you say ‘adorabubble,’ I’m leaving.
Big damn heroes, sir. Instead you go all Dumbledore on me. You’re the one freaky thing in my freaky world that still makes sense to me. It has nothing to do with me. We’re gonna explode? I don’t wanna explode. Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose? The lambs have passed through the gate. The living legend needs eggs! Like, is the hippo going,’Hey, man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity!’ Can’t even shout, can’t even cry.
The only time you were ever at peace in your whole life was when you were dead. Barmaid, bring me stronger ale, and some plump, succulent babies to eat. I’m the one who brings about the thought-pocalypse. It was the pioneer days; people had to make their own interrogation rooms. Out of cornmeal. Freedom is life’s great lie. It’s getting eerie, what’s this cheery singing all about? You will keep a civil tongue in this house or we’ll put your tongue in a stew. Well, you were busy trying to get yourself lit on fire. What, you think this isn’t real just because of all the vampires, and demons, and ex-vengeance demons, and the sister that used to be a big ball of universe-destroying energy? Anyone in this much pain prays, or at least curses.
Stay away from hyena people, or any loser athletes, or if you see anyone who’s invisible. Ain’t it crazy how slaying just always makes you hungry and horny? It’s about power and it’s about women and you just hate those two words in the same sentence, don’t you? From beneath you, it devours. You will keep a civil tongue in this house or we’ll put your tongue in a stew. I like to think of myself more as a ‘guest-age’.
Buffy’s boinking Spike. Men, with your sales. We’re gonna explode? I don’t wanna explode. Don’t care much for fancy parties. Too rough. How did you find me here? It eats you, starting with your bottom. We attack the mayor with hummus. They are come to the killing floor. They need to take seven and they might take yours. Or even worse, a sneezure.

Anyone in this much pain prays, or at least curses.

Darn your sinister attraction! Somebody put her tiny little thinking cap on! Can’t call to mom, can’t say a word. Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings; shindig, dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage; and hootenanny, well, it’s chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny. Stay away from hyena people, or any loser athletes, or if you see anyone who’s invisible. But I haven’t spent any money! I was all… dead and frugal. Well, excuse me, Mr. I-spent-the-sixties-in-an-electric-Kool-Aid-funky-Satan-groove! I knew you were lying. Undead liar guy.

Looking in windows, knocking on doors. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I’ll never leave. Not even if you kill me. See if you were really a witch, you’d do a spell to escape.
Scenario: We raise Buffy from the grave. She tries to eat our brains. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. Military people don’t make out with science people. Remember when you could just throw a girl in a volcano?
Well, you were busy trying to get yourself lit on fire. In their resting state, our actives are as innocent and vulnerable as children. The lambs have passed through the gate. It’s a real burn, being right so often. I’ve got four brothers, none of them Democrats. You’re the one freaky thing in my freaky world that still makes sense to me. The only way some people can find a purpose in life is by becoming obsessed with demons. A whole mess of sparrows turning on a dime, salmon trucking upstream. The only time you were ever at peace in your whole life was when you were dead. You’ll fight, and you’ll shag, and you’ll hate each other ’til it makes you quiver, but you’ll never be friends.
I mean, officially I deplore violence, but that was totally worth the loss of karma points! We live in a space ship, dear.
Everyone’s a hero in their own way, in their own not that heroic way. Last month he’s the freak with jicama breath who waxes his back. The human mind is like Van Halen; if you just pull out one piece and keep replacing it, it just degenerates. Anyway, he seemed to be having a kind of man-reaction. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it…This Land. No, a bad day is when someone’s yellin’ spooks the cattle. Now you can luxuriate in a nice jail cell, but if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet: I will end you.
Well, I’m sure I’m in serious need of some moral spankitude, but guess who’s not qualified to be my Rabbi? So we’ll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God’s creation of Eden. Stay away from hyena people, or any loser athletes, or if you see anyone who’s invisible. We’ve got a bunch of fighters with nothing to hit, a wicca who won’t-a, and the brains of our operation wears oven mitts. Freedom is life’s great lie.
What, you think this isn’t real just because of all the vampires, and demons, and ex-vengeance demons, and the sister that used to be a big ball of universe-destroying energy? It’s about power and it’s about women and you just hate those two words in the same sentence, don’t you? No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. Uh, hey, I got a idea. Instead of us hanging around playing art critic ’til I get pinched by the man, how’s about we move away from this eerie-ass piece of work, and get on with our increasingly eerie-ass day. How’s that? Looking in windows, knocking on doors. You are talking crazy-person talk. Put your words in word places please.
Welcome to the nancy tribe. If every vampire who said he was at the crucifixion actually was there, it would’ve been like Woodstock. No, a bad day is when someone’s yellin’ spooks the cattle. I brought you some supper but if you’d prefer a lecture, I’ve a few very catchy ones prepped: sin and hellfire, one has lepers. Now you can luxuriate in a nice jail cell, but if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet: I will end you.
I wanna hurt you, but I can’t resist the sinister attraction of your cold and muscular body! Don’t care much for fancy parties. Too rough. Just once I would like to run into a cult of bunny worshippers. Now I’m just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth. I told him that I loved him, I kissed him, and I killed him.