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Can everybody just notice how much fire I’m not on? You can’t spend the rest of your life waiting for Xander to wake up and smell the hottie. So, are we gonna sing army songs or something?
From beneath you, it devours. Darn your sinister attraction! This distress call wouldn’t be taking place in someone’s pants, would it? I’ve seen the best and the worst of you. We attack the mayor with hummus.
I gave birth to a pterodactyl. My entire existence was constructed by a sociopath in a sweater vest; what do you suggest I do? No, a bad day is when someone’s yellin’ spooks the cattle.
I told him that I loved him, I kissed him, and I killed him. I brought you some supper but if you’d prefer a lecture, I’ve a few very catchy ones prepped: sin and hellfire, one has lepers. I knew you were lying. Undead liar guy. The gentlemen are coming by. You’ll prove I can trust you when the day comes that you have to kill me. And you do. They’re just a bunch of hormonal time bombs. That girl will rain destruction down on you and your ship.
I’ve got a theory, some kid is dreaming, and we’re all stuck inside his wacky broadway nightmare. Special isn’t always a good thing here, Boyd.
Occasionally, I’m callous and strange. The brain is kept in a fear-induced, adrenaline-fueled overdrive state, like a problem you can’t solve. She alone will stand against the vampires the demons and the forces of darkness. It’s funny how the Earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to. Well we could grind our enemies into talcum powder with a sledgehammer but, gosh, we did that last night. We’ll have to call it early quantum state phenomenon. Only way to fit 5000 species of mammal on the same boat.
Why not default them with ninja skills or whatever? For this plan to work, River and I will have to be dead.
You can’t spend the rest of your life waiting for Xander to wake up and smell the hottie. Stay with me. Forever. That’s the whole point. And what’s with all the carrots? Did you know that the only animal in the animals crackers that has clothes is the monkey? We’re outlaws with hearts of gold. Just once I would like to run into a cult of bunny worshippers. If the apocalypse comes…beep me! Somebody put her tiny little thinking cap on! When I say, ‘I love you,’ it’s not because I want you or because I can’t have you. A vampire in love with a Slayer. It’s rather poetic, in a maudlin sort of way.
All monkeys are French. You didn’t know that? They’re just a bunch of hormonal time bombs. Special isn’t always a good thing here, Boyd. Yeah, it was sexy the way she touched me real hard with her fists.
The only time you were ever at peace in your whole life was when you were dead. Hey I could whip up a love slave any day I wanted. You’re gonna die screaming but you won’t be heard. Why not default them with ninja skills or whatever? You remember, you fail math, you flunk out of school, you end up being the guy at the pizza place that sweeps the floor and says, ‘Hey, kids, where’s the cool parties this weekend?’ Looking in windows, knocking on doors. Don’t care much for fancy parties. Too rough. Oh my god you will never believe what happened at school today. Start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a ninety-pound girl, ’cause I don’t think that’s ever getting old.

No, Angel, it’s not you. She came from the grave much graver. Don’t strain your brain trying, then. Might break something. Oh my god, I find lentils completely incomprehensible. It was supposed to confuse him, but it just made him peppy. We’re outlaws with hearts of gold. I hate to bring up our imminent arrest during your crazy time, but we gotta move. Or even worse, a sneezure. You were a worthless being before you were ever a monster. Ah, the pitter patter of tiny feet in huge combat boots.
She is the slayer. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. Risk the pain, it is your nature. It was supposed to confuse him, but it just made him peppy. Okay, uh, I’m lost. I’m angry. And I’m armed. How about ’cause you’re a tiny impotent Nazi with a bug up his butt the size of an emu? If I could make you purtier, I would. I recognize the council has made a decision, but given that it’s a stupid-ass decision, I’ve elected to ignore it. Darn your sinister attraction!
Say! look at you! You look just like me! We’re very pretty. What’s your secret? Mellow jazz? Bongo drums? Huge bag of weed?
Bunnies aren’t just cute like everybody supposes. We’re old friends from Navy. Friends from Old Navy. I worked retail, he’d come in, buy slacks So, I’m wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sorta ripped? Start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a ninety-pound girl, ’cause I don’t think that’s ever getting old. You’re the one freaky thing in my freaky world that still makes sense to me.
You’re recently gay! This may come as a shock, but I’m actually not very good at talking to girls. Oh my god! Did it sing? And that’d be where you find stored such things as empathy, compassion, an aversion to disemboweling puppies. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it…This Land. If you say ‘adorabubble,’ I’m leaving. Well we could grind our enemies into talcum powder with a sledgehammer but, gosh, we did that last night. How did your brain even learn human speech? I’m just so curious. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you. Remember when you could just throw a girl in a volcano?
Oh my god, I find lentils completely incomprehensible. I don’t want to use the word genius, but I’d be ok if you wanted to.
Just once I would like to run into a cult of bunny worshippers. Well, excuse me, Mr. I-spent-the-sixties-in-an-electric-Kool-Aid-funky-Satan-groove! Actually, I was fired from a fry-cook opportunity. One of my personalities happens to be a multiple personality, but that doesn’t make me a multiple personality. I’m a rogue demon hunter now. It eats you, starting with your bottom. When I kiss you, you don’t wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after. Welcome to the nancy tribe.
Don’t care much for fancy parties. Too rough. You’re lesbians, so the hating of men will come in handy. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. That probably would’ve sounded more commanding if I wasn’t wearing my yummy sushi pajamas.
Welcome to the nancy tribe. I am obsolete. This must be what old people feel like, and Blockbuster. Barmaid, bring me stronger ale, and some plump, succulent babies to eat. A whole mess of sparrows turning on a dime, salmon trucking upstream.
Okay, uh, I’m lost. I’m angry. And I’m armed. A whole mess of sparrows turning on a dime, salmon trucking upstream. I’ll kill a man in a fair fight. Or if I think he’s gonna start a fair fight. Or if he bothers me. Or if there’s a woman. Or if I’m getting paid. Mostly when I’m getting paid. They rampaged through half the known world until Angel got his soul. Everybody started singing and dancing. You’ll fight, and you’ll shag, and you’ll hate each other ’til it makes you quiver, but you’ll never be friends. Well, I’m sure I’m in serious need of some moral spankitude, but guess who’s not qualified to be my Rabbi? Bunnies! Bunnies! It must be Bunnies! Actually, I was fired from a fry-cook opportunity.